


you get off on me, it’s like cheating

by watyonameisgurl



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Internal Conflict, M/M, On BOTH SIDES, Voice Kink, a dash of, alright that's all i got, cause if so that, for once i didn't end up writing an essay in the tags lol, is self-kink shaming a thing?, ok lemme stop before i actually do
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-26
Updated: 2018-03-26
Packaged: 2019-04-08 13:35:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14106516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/watyonameisgurl/pseuds/watyonameisgurl
Summary: It's not really much of a secret that Liam has a kink for Zayn's voice, but itisa secret that he goes this far with it. Which is why it's something even Zayn doesn't know. And Liam plans on keeping it that way. But the universe has other plans.(Or: Liam has a secret voice kink and gets off to Zayn’s M.O.M. album when he’s home alone but things go a bit sideways when Zayn comes home earlier than expected)





	you get off on me, it’s like cheating

**Author's Note:**

> (Alternatively titled: the sound of your voice painted on my memories)
> 
> I guess this could also kind of be considered porn with feelings?
> 
> Anyway enjoy...

 

Sometimes he does this. When he’s alone. Only when he’s alone. When Zayn’s away and he’s got no interviews or performances or recording sessions to go to—nothing to fill up the time—he does this. Only sometimes.

The speakers are loud, turned up to full volume to drown everything else out. All of the dogs are outside, probably barking up a storm, but he can’t hear it over the music. Over the sound of Zayn’s voice wafting over him in soft, mellow tones.

He slips out of his clothes slowly, laying back on the bed in nothing but his pants, eyes closed, lets the sound of Zayn’s voice take over. It’s so loud it feels almost tangible, like it’s all around him, like _Zayn’s_ all around him.

He can almost imagine Zayn’s there with him, singing the words in his ear— _a place that is so pure, so dirty and raw—_ smirking against Liam’s jaw like he knows exactly what this is doing to Liam, how much it gets to him, how he can practically _feel_ the vibrato under his skin, thrumming inside him. His body feels like a livewire, buzzing with electricity, buzzing with _Zayn_ —Zayn inside him, over him, all around him.

His skims a hand down the flushed skin of his chest, cupping himself through his pants and feeling his dick jump a little at Zayn’s words— _seeing the pain, seeing the pleasure, nobody but you, body but me, body but us, bodies together_. He feels the words thrumming through him and it’s almost like he can _feel_ Zayn on top of him, chest pressed to his, rough nails skimming his sides as he presses gentle kisses to Liam’s neck. He lets out a little sound, a soft whimper, but it gets lost in the music, lost in Zayn and his voice just like it would if Zayn was here, kissing him quiet, swallowing his moans while he slowly takes Liam apart.

Liam bites his lip, presses the heel of his palm into his dick just a little, just enough to relieve some of the pressure, but he won’t touch. Not yet.

His dick jumps again as Zayn’s voice goes lower near the end, letting out a little spurt of precome in anticipation and Liam lets out another little noise but still he won’t touch.

The song ends, the room enveloped in silence for just a second before the next one starts and Liam holds his breath as the beat reverberates through him, body vibrating with it. He can’t explain it but it always makes him feel so sensitive, this part. Maybe it’s the way the low beat feels vibrating through him or the anticipation of hearing Zayn’s voice again, the anticipation of feeling it all around him and inside him after the reprieve, filling him up again after leaving him empty, of knowing what’s to come. Maybe it’s all of those together. He doesn’t know. But whatever it is it’s enough to have the simplest of touches bringing him right to the edge. Hand still hovering over his dick, he brings his free hand up to his chest just as Zayn’s voice starts to ring out again, brushing a thumb lightly over his nipple, hips jerking involuntarily at the spark of pleasure that runs through him at the touch and at Zayn’s words— _you get off on me, it’s like cheating_.

A moment later his hips jerk again in surprise as the heavier beat drops, pulsing through him even harder and more intense than before and it’s too much. This is the part he can never can get used to, the part that always surprises him even though he knows it’s coming. There’s something about the way Zayn’s voice sounds, like it’s laced with sex and raw energy, something about the way the heavy beat pulses through him so deep he can feel it in his bones that just drives him insane. He clenches his hands in the sheets and just lets himself feel it, lets his whimpers get swallowed up in the music, in Zayn.

The beat drives through him and all he can do is lie there and take it, let the rawness of Zayn’s voice draw him closer to the edge. _You like it hard like me, it’s what you need_ —the words hit him like a brick and it’s almost like Zayn’s pinning to him to the bed, hands pressed into his hips leaving Liam no choice but to do whatever he wants, take whatever Zayn gives him.

 _God_ , he’s _so_ close. It feels like being fucked, like being filled up with Zayn, each pulse of the beat hammering into him, leaving his whole body sensitive and buzzing and then coming right back to do it again before he even has a chance to catch his breath.

He bites his lip, twisting his fingers in the sheets, presses himself to the bed and feels the beat thrumming even harder inside him, feels Zayn’s voice inside him as it crescendos at the bridge— _I just can’t wait to see it all, I’m so turned on_. His voice rings out so loud, all around Liam, and it’s like it’s all he can feel, just Zayn’s voice surrounding him, inside him, _everywhere_ , pushing him over the edge. It’s too much, it’s _too_ fucking much.

Pants sticky and soaked through with precome, he untwists his fingers from the sheets and pushes them down in a rush, wrapping a hand around himself, breath coming in pants and it only takes a couple of tugs before he’s coming all over himself thick and hot, spilling over his fingers and his stomach, hips jerking harshly as he lets out choked off moans that leave his throat feeling raw and used.

The song ends, moving onto wRoNg, the next one in the playlist—the playlist he’s embarrassed to admit he made just for this—and he lays there panting, feeling spent and oversensitive and ashamed.

~

Zayn can hear the music blasting before he’s even made it all the way to the front door, shuffling up the steps with Stitch tucked under one arm, fumbling for his keys with the other. He’s been in New York the last couple of weeks for promo but Liam’s not expecting him home for a few more days because he’d wanted this to be a surprise. Liam must have been feeling sentimental though because even with the music muffled by the closed doors and windows Zayn can still make out enough to know it’s his own voice he’s hearing echoed back at him.

Once he’s got the door open the sound of the music increases tenfold, so loud he feels like the walls are vibrating with it. It strikes him as a bit odd that he can’t hear Liam belting along to it like he usually does but he shrugs it off, figuring maybe he just can’t hear Liam’s voice over how loud he’s got the music or maybe Liam just didn’t feel like singing along this time round.

Zayn sees that Liam’s let the dogs out to play in the backyard and he shuffles over to the french doors to let Stitch out with them. He throws out a couple of treats for them from the bag by the door just because and then watches them squabble for a moment before turning to head up the stairs.

The music only grows louder as he climbs the stairs, so loud it’s almost deafening once he reaches the top and he wonders how Liam can stand it. Liam never usually plays it this loud even on days when he’s feeling particularly restless or rowdy, but again Zayn shrugs it off. Who is he to dictate how Liam feels or what he does when he’s alone and missing Zayn? If it helps him feel better Zayn’s not complaining. If anything he actually finds it kind of sweet that Liam missed him so much he felt the need to play Zayn’s music as loud as he possibly could just to feel closer to him. Cheesy, but sweet all the same.

He braces himself at the bedroom door, sly grin on his face, ready to spring out from behind it and surprise Liam. He pauses for the briefest of moments, calculating his entry, and then throws the door open, arms splayed wide, gearing up to shout surprise but promptly freezes, not at all prepared for the scene that greets him.

Naked and covered in come, Liam scrambles to the edge of the bed, red-faced and embarrassed as he rushes to pull his pants back up from where they’d been bunched around his thighs and grabs for his phone to turn off the music. His cheeks are shiny and he brushes a hand over his face hurriedly in an effort to hide it and Zayn knows that should be his most pressing concern right now but instead what comes out of his mouth is, “Were you… _wanking_ to my music?”

“No,” Liam says, but he won’t look at Zayn and his cheeks have gone an even deeper shade of red and Zayn is at a complete loss as to what to do here. Can’t do anything but blink stupidly at Liam in shock and confusion.

“Um…” he starts and then realizes he has no idea what to even say. Surprise? It’s okay? _Why_? We need to talk?

There’s too many thoughts swirling around in his brain, warring with each other and he hasn’t the faintest clue how to say any of what he wants to say without making Liam feel worse about whatever this is. Because there’s no way he was actually wanking to Zayn’s music, right? That’s not a thing people do. Right?

Except that that’s exactly what it looks like.

But surely he must’ve just misread this whole situation and is just jumping to conclusions though, yeah? Because Liam wouldn’t be crying while wanking, would he? Granted he’s covered in come and those had clearly been tears he was wiping away and he’s obviously embarrassed but there’s still the possibility that he’s embarrassed over something else and not what Zayn blurted out in a moment of unadulterated shock.

Maybe he hurt himself while wanking. Or finished wanking and then had a cry about something else completely unrelated. There’s lots of other possible explanations for this, surely. Even if Zayn can’t think of many right now with the way his brain’s sort of still short-circuiting from shock.

“I…I can explain,” Liam says a bit desperately, and his voice is a bit croaky, though Zayn’s not sure if it’s from the crying or the wanking. And it’s probably weird that he feels a bit guilty for not being able to tell which it is in the midst of everything else going on right now but he feels like he should. That’s the sort of thing you should know about the person you vowed to spend the rest of your life with, isn’t it? But then again he hadn’t known about _this_ either—whatever _this_ is.

He stands there silently, fidgeting a bit as he waits for Liam to continue but the silence just stretches on, Liam’s wide eyes darting everywhere around the room but him. After what seems like forever Liam’s shoulders sag and he drops back down to the edge of the bed, head hung low.

“I can’t,” Liam says, voice barely above a whisper. “I…I don’t know what I could even say without you thinking I’m some sort of freak.”

“Hey, no,” Zayn says immediately, moving to sit beside him, keeping his voice gentle. “No,” he repeats, wrapping arms around Liam. “I could never think that. It doesn’t matter what it is, I would never think that about you.”

“I…I _was_ ,” Liam says, voice cracking, sounding on the verge of tears. “I _was_ wanking to your—fuck, I can’t even say it. It sounds so stupid and creepy. I _know_ it does, I just…I don’t know, sometimes I just really miss your voice.” This time he does actually let out a sob, a small one, and Zayn pulls Liam into him.

“It’s not stupid, yeah? It’s not stupid or creepy. I get it. I mean, I didn’t expect. Like, I didn’t expect for you to have…gone the way you did with it, but I get it. I miss your voice too. When we’re apart. Sometimes I fall asleep to your music or save your voicemails so I can listen back to them when I’m feeling anxious or need to calm down. And I don’t know why I never told you that, I guess I just don’t think about it when we’re together cause I’m always so happy to be back with you I kind of forget for a bit how shitty it feels when we’re apart, but…I don’t ever want you to feel like there’s anything you can’t tell me because you’re afraid I’ll judge you for it. I love you, quirks and all.”

Liam sniffles, pulling away a bit to look up at him.

“You’re not…you’re not weirded out?”

“No. Surprised yes, but weirded out, no. Actually the more I think about it the more I kind of see how it could be hot.” He quirks the corner of his lips up in a teasing smile and manages to get a bit of a watery smile from Liam in return. He’ll take it. It’s better than tears.

He pulls Liam back to lay with him on the bed, grabbing Liam’s phone as he goes.

“’Secret Playlist.’ I applaud your skills of stealth. Would’ve never thought to look there for anything suspicious.”

“Shut up,” Liam says, voice half muffled in Zayn’s t-shirt. “I couldn’t think of anything else.”

“Hmmm, what’s next? BoRdErSz, LIKE I WOULD…Cruel…dRuNk…good choices. Sexy.” He nods in approval until he scrolls a bit further down. "iT’s YoU?” Zayn quirks an eyebrow down at Liam and Liam shrugs, tracing idle patterns over Zayn’s shirt with his fingertips.

“It’s for like…to wind down, like. Like after,” Liam explains, still sounding a little sheepish.

Zayn hums in understanding, dropping Liam’s phone back down to the bed and taking Liam’s hand in his, stilling his idle movements.

“I love you, yeah?” he says again and he senses more so than sees Liam’s smile tucked into the fabric of his shirt.

“I love you, too. So much,” Liam murmurs softly.

“Maybe, um…maybe another time I could watch?” he says tentatively. “If…if you’d be okay with that?”

Liam’s head pops in surprise, eyes wide and earnest as he glances up at Zayn. “Really? You’d…you’d _want_ to do that?”

“I wanna do whatever you wanna do. And if that includes this, then yeah. Besides, it’s _you_ , so it can’t _not_ be hot.”

Liam giggles at that and Zayn pulls him up for a kiss, soft and slow before he boops him on the nose.

“We should probably go let the dogs in before they start clawing at the doors and ruining the paint on the outer doorframe again,” Zayn says after they've laid there for a little while longer.

“Yeah, we probably should,” Liam agrees but neither of them moves, too content to just lay there enjoying each other’s company and breathing each other’s air, taking this time to just _be_ together again after what feels like so long. _Too_ long. Always too long.

But none of that matters now in this moment. All that matters is them and the way their chests feel pressed flush together, fluttering against each other back and forth like they’re perfectly in sync, hearts beating as one, falling right into a rhythm like they never stopped.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked! :)
> 
> Comments and Kudos = LOVE


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